Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants
by Ishi Mari
Summary: How to summarize this, well, it's mostly about Subaru, and weird stuff that happens to him! And what exactly is Hinoto plotting? Read it and find out Please review and tell me what you think. UPDATED with parts 7&8
1. Part one

Subaru, Seishiro and Pants: Part one of ten.  
  
Hello! It's Ishi again! Now for more fun, fun, fun, a.k.a Torture Subaru! This is mostly about Subaru, and Seishiro. The pants well, I don't know much about that yet. Also, involving other various characters from X. Oh, and some slight crossover w/ Dragon Knights (only slight). Don't ask where the title came up. It was all Ki's fault (my buddy, buddy). We were sitting at her house, talking about Subaru and Seishiro, when all of a sudden a title came up into our minds. I'm not sure who exactly came up w/ it, but all's I know, is that Ki just started writing the name down. Then, I jumped in, not really knowing what I was doing, (hell, neither of us did) and this is how the story was born! Don't blame me if some things don't make sense! This whole thing didn't even have a plot when I first started!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone here, except for Vegeta, the seeing-eye dog, which I made up for Sei-chan, cuz he is now blind in both eyes! You can say thank you now Sei-chan!  
  
Subaru: Seishiro! Seishiro!  
  
Seishiro: What?  
  
Subaru: I can't seem to find my pants!  
  
Hokuto: I can hear you all yelling from the other room! I'm trying to sleep!  
  
Subaru: But it's in the middle of the afternoon!  
  
Vegeta: Woof!  
  
(Subaru and Hokuto shiver in fear while Seishirou stares with his two big beautiful, yellow, glass eyes)  
  
Subaru: Dang! Why couldn't you have picked out another seeing-eye dog! This one is weird!  
  
Kharl: Hello!  
  
Seishiro, Subaru and Hokuto stare at the sick albino who had just randomly walked into their house (yes 'their' house) completely, utterly naked!  
  
Kharl: Goodbye!  
  
Sei-chan, Hokuto, Subaru:.......................  
  
Garfakcsy: Where did master Kharl run off to this time?  
  
The three watch as he exits and then they shake their heads. Now, back to the pants!  
  
Hokuto: Hey, lil' oni-chan, where are your pants?  
  
Subaru: That was what I was yelling about sis! I don't know!  
  
Seishiro: Well, I don't know, I mean why would I, of all people, take your pants off of you?  
  
Subaru: I don't know, maybe you did it in your sleep?  
  
Seishiro: Oh, that makes perfect sense! I'm blind, so it doesn't matter if I'm asleep or awake!  
  
Hokuto: So are you admitting you did it while you were awake?  
  
Seishiro: No!  
  
Subaru: Oh, I think you are!  
  
Hokuto: Yup! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, no matter how you try to pretty up the situation, you, Seishiro-chan, are nothing more than a pervert!  
  
Seishiro:............  
  
Vegeta: Woof!  
  
Subaru: See, even your crazy, bugged-out eyed dog agrees!  
  
Seishiro: Uh, how can you tell?  
  
Hokuto: (whispers) He hears weird dogs! They talk to him! All the time! They're everywhere!  
  
End of Part one.......  
  
Tee, hee, hee! I just pulled a Kotori! Don't ask where that's coming from. I originally wanted this story to be all in one chapter, but, it's not anymore! Don't worry, they are all fairly short! They don't involve weird/out-of-the-ordinary pairings, at least I think. Ki's mom read it! She had also previously watched Tokyo Babylon, and that episode labeled 0 of X in the first DVD. She fell asleep watching Tokyo Babylon, but she seemed pretty interested in X. Go Ki's mom! But I have to wonder, if she is really dense, and has no clue of the shonen-ai hints of TB and X (not to mention the hints that Ki and I keep giving her when telling her about Subaru's life story, the plot of X, the plot of TB, the overall weirdness of it!) or, if she knows and doesn't give a crap. But, if that's the case, I'm totally confused! She's homophobic! Just like my dad! Now that I think about it, he watched X too! Oh the insanity! Read parts 2-10 of 'Subaru, Seishiro and Pants' Please tell me what you think about it! Now time for the happy quotes!!!  
  
Hokuto: Nothing's absolute in this world Kakyo. It'll be alright, you've got Hokuto Sumeragi by your side after all. 


	2. Part two

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part two of ten  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in here. Though what's worse I wonder, being owned by me, or by CLAMP?  
  
Oh, quick author's note: I don't really know where the anonymous shoe is coming from, so just bear with it (you'll see what I mean as you read!). This whole thing is starting to have a plot, but, it's not very stable yet.  
  
1:04 a.m. Kamui's house (or something like it)  
  
Subaru: (mumbling) C'mon Seishiro, give me my pants, I know you have them....  
  
Just then, an anonymous shoe flew up and hit poor Subaru, who was dreaming about loosing his pants, right in the head. This caused the bishi to snap up, wide-awake.  
  
Subaru: (out loud) What the hell?!  
  
Subaru looked around at his surroundings. He was in a sleeping bag, on a futon in a different house than his own. Around him were more futons, uncomfortably close to him on either side. One holding a sleeping Sorata, and the other, Yuzuriha. On a couch close to the three futons, slept Arashi, and in a chair, all curled up like a kitty, Kamui. They were all in a living room of a small apartment like place.  
  
Subaru: Oh, yeah.  
  
(Flashback of what lead up to this point)  
  
Kamui: Hey, why doesn't every one sleep at my house tonight!  
  
Arashi: Why?  
  
Kamui: Well, I've grown so attached to you all, and who knows which one of us is going to die, so, we need to spend as much time together as possible.  
  
Arashi: 'Who knows which one of us is going to die'? Gee, you sound confident in us all.  
  
Sora: I think it's a great idea! Let's all go!  
  
Karen: But I have work.  
  
Aoki-san: And I have a family, who needs to be with me.  
  
Kamui: Well, at least come and watch movies and eat popcorn with us for a while.  
  
Karen and Aoki-san: Ok!   
  
(End flashback, and so you all know why Aoki-san and Kasumi-san aren't here)  
  
Subaru: That was a weird dream... Seishiro was blind, and Hokuto was alive.  
  
Subaru stops and thinks about that. After five minutes of sulking, like he usually does, he decided it was best to go back to sleep.  
  
However...  
  
Subaru: (walking with, what appears to be clouds, floating around him) What the heck am I doing here?  
  
Voice: Subaru-kun...  
  
Subaru: What?  
  
Seishiro: (coming out from behind some clouds) You could at least say something nicer, besides an annoyed 'what'.  
  
Subaru: Well, at least you have your good eye, and aren't blind in this dream.  
  
Seishiro: I don't know what you're talking about, and who says this is a dream?  
  
Seishiro randomly glomps Subaru.  
  
Subaru:........Please get off!  
  
Seishiro: Mmmm.... No!  
  
He begins to take off Subaru's pants.  
  
Subaru: Is this some kind of weird fighting style you've recently made up?  
  
Seishiro: You're so dense! It must be because you're tired.  
  
Subaru: Hey, my pants!  
  
Seishiro tosses Subaru's pants off to the side. Subaru realizes what Seishiro is trying to do to him, and his eyes widen in shock. Then he thinks for about three seconds.  
  
Subaru: You know, I've never done it in a bunch of clouds before. Hmmm.... I wonder why I'm not resisting. Oh well.  
  
Seishiro: That's the spirit!  
  
He turns Subaru over, onto his stomach.  
  
Subaru: Oh Seishiro, oh, yeah!!!  
  
..........  
  
Subaru moved around rapidly in his futon.  
  
Subaru: Seishiro! Seishiro! SEISHIRO!!!  
  
Kamui: (stirs) Huh...  
  
Arashi: (snaps up) Seishiro? Sakurazukamori??!!  
  
Sorata: (wakes up) WHERE???  
  
Subaru: (still in a blissful dream) Seishiro!  
  
Yuzuriha: (finally awake) We're being attacked?!  
  
Kamui: I think he's got Subaru!  
  
Arashi: Uh, wait... damn, too late.  
  
It was too late, for, Sorata, Kamui and Yuzuriha all jumped up and onto Subaru's futon, I guess, hoping to find and stop Seishiro from whatever they thought he was doing. Uh, heh....  
  
Subaru: (waking up to psychos on top of him instead of Seishiro, this obviously disturbed him greatly)............uh....  
  
Kamui: Are you ok?  
  
Yuzuriha: Where did Sakurazukamori go? Which, by the way, is a very long name.  
  
Sorata: (looking under Subaru's pillow) He's gone. I wonder how he left so quickly.  
  
Arashi: Well, that's because he wasn't here in the first place.  
  
Sora, Kamui, and Yuzuriha: (still on top of Subaru and/or his bed) Eh?  
  
Arashi: It's clear Subaru was just having a nightmare about fighting him.  
  
Subaru: (Putting one of his legs over the other in order to hide the boner) Uh...YES! But I'm fine now, so let's all go back to bed! (He's trying to sound casual, but he really sounds happy)  
  
Kamui: You sound awfully happy.  
  
Subaru: (goes back to normal sulky voice) No, I'm never happy.  
  
Kamui and Yuzuriha: Ooh. Poor Subaru.  
  
End of Part two......  
  
Ha, ha, ha! That was fun! I wrote this chapter while listening to NightWalker music, which I downloaded. I have a habit of listening to the beginning and ending theme songs of NightWalker while writing fanfictions. Go Shido! That was my shout out to Shido-san. Please keep reading!!! Oh, and guess what? The plot will start to unfold in the next chapter! So, keep reading!  
  
More happy quotes!!! (These don't have any special significance by the way, I just like quoting the people from X)  
  
Kanoe: Sister. I'll prove to you that your dream-seeing was indeed correct. 


	3. Part three

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part three of ten  
  
Actually, Subaru and Seishiro aren't even in this one! But it builds up the plot, and is part of the story, so I don't really care if it fits with the title. Haven't you ever seen stories that don't fit the title? I have, or maybe I'm just crazy, which very well may be. This story is what I think should have happened in X. Maybe I'll write one about Fuma and Kamui too! Maybe this story hints at that!!!! Man, how does Ki make such long author notes? Have you seen em? They're like, half a page long! Oh well, I suppose you would like to read the story now.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in here. Period. Never have, never will, and never want to. Would you? (I mean, it's Kanoe for crying out loud, not that I don't love Kanoe or anything)  
  
Ki Note: Hey, I'm her beta/friend!!!! Since her computer is crap, I post this for her. I just want to tell you all how happy she is about the reviews. (Nobody has reviewed her other stories. Check them out if you have time.) She wants to thank you all. When I told her about it, it made her day. Enjoy, a plot is coming.   
  
1:10 p.m. Under City Hall  
  
Kanoe sat in a chair. She was very bored. The whole day was pretty much a waste, well, despite the fact of that morning in which all of the dragons of earth decided to be Nataku's personal health teachers that day. Even that was out of boredom. However it was very funny to watch Kusanagi first explain the functions of the male and female reproductive organs, and then have Fuma explain sex, in his way, and then have Yuto, Seishiro, and Satsuki all demonstrate the many different ways of how to do it (examples; heterosexual, homosexual, twosomes, and threesomes). Nataku was just lucky that Kusanagi was kind enough to stop everything before Fuma got into foursomes. They were also stumped at Nataku's question as to why he didn't have either of the reproductive organs himself.  
  
But alas, that was long over with. Now everyone was busy doing other useless things. And it got kind of dull listening to Seishiro, and Fuma constantly bugging Kakyo. Things like Fuma saying, 'When will I molest Kamui again? Will he like it like all of the other times?' And Seishiro saying, 'When will I rape Subaru-kun? Will he like it, and if so, is it still considered rape?'  
  
(I lied; Seishiro is in it after all! Gomen!)  
  
Kanoe drifted off into sleep. Part of it was boredom, and the other part was to peak into Hinoto's dreams to see what she was up to.  
  
When she got to wherever she went to see Hinoto's dreams, she automatically saw Hinoto herself, eyes closed and consentrating hard. This could only mean one thing; Hinoto wasn't dreaming of the future, she was sending dreams to someone else. She had previously done it before, with Kamui, to cheat her way into making Kamui become a dragon of heaven (well, just in the OAV, but she did it none the less).  
  
Kanoe: Who's brain are you screwing with now sister? Ooo. That makes me sound punk.  
  
Hinoto: (opening her eyes) And I was making it really good too. Oh well, he woke up.... Oh! Hello Kanoe!  
  
Kanoe: You usually aren't this nice to me sister. What are you doing?  
  
Hinoto: It's none of your business Kanoe!  
  
Kanoe: Well, maybe not, but I still want to know.  
  
Hinoto: No!  
  
Kanoe: Yes.  
  
Hinoto: No!  
  
Kanoe: Yes.  
  
Hinoto:..........Fine... (Turns to people who are reading this story) What can I say? She's very persuasive.  
  
Kanoe: Who are you talking too?  
  
Hinoto: Nobody! Ok, you want to know what I'm doing, right? Here, I made up these dreams.  
  
The dreams she showed Kanoe were the two dreams that Subaru had. The one dream, involving Seishiro being blind, and having a Seeing Eye dog named Vegeta, and Hokuto being alive. The other, the anonymous clouds and Seishiro screwing Subaru.  
  
Kanoe: I don't get it.  
  
Hinoto: I'm screwing with Subaru's mind.  
  
Kanoe: I see that, but why? And why Subaru?  
  
Hinoto: Because, I'm bored. And also,  
  
Kotori: (just sort of hopping in out of nowhere) the future has not been determined yet.  
  
Hinoto: That too. But also,  
  
Kotori: 'The future has not been determined yet?'  
  
Kanoe: You're dead, how are you here?  
  
Kotori: Well, Hokuto got a brief shining moment, I need one too Ok, it's done! Goodbye!  
  
Kanoe: You were saying?  
  
Hinoto: Yes, also, I have seen the possible change in the future for that boy, and the one he loves (Gasp! Dun, dun, dun!). Since everyone else is screwed either way, I'd like to see at least one different outcome.  
  
Kanoe: Ah....Well that's weird. Whatever, do what you want. Just let me in on it 'k?  
  
Hinoto: Well, ok!  
  
End of part three...  
  
Yes, Hinoto will talk to you throughout this story. So don't get too disturbed. Well, it has a plot now. Beware of what comes out of my head! I'd like to take this time to thank everyone reading this and not getting scared away yet! Although there are weirder things out there. Oh, and don't mind the Kotori-brief-shining-moment-thing. I wanted her to have one. Only seven more to go!  
  
These quotes are all from the X anime by the way! I think I already said that.  
  
Kakyo: The destiny of all, has already been determined. 


	4. Part four

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part four of ten  
  
This is coming along fairly quickly I might say. Well, it is pretty short. I feel deprived though; my Internet hasn't been working for, oh, four months now. I haven't been able to post my stories on the Internet myself since the first two chapters of 'Crazy kinda luv thing'. I've been giving all of em to Ki, on a floppy so she can post them, sorry Ki! She also tried to fix my computer once. It still doesn't work. It's an emachine though, so that might be the problem. Weird things always happen to emachines. My other friend Haku has one, and it just recently broke down too. Enough of me ranting about emachines, on to the story!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in this fic. That was short and simple enough.  
  
11:46 a.m. Still at Kamui's house (Before the whole Kanoe thing).  
  
Two disturbing dreams in one night........  
  
Subaru: Is some force trying to tell me something?  
  
Kamui: What?  
  
Subaru: (didn't realize he was talking out loud) Nothing.  
  
Five of the Seven Seals were sitting around a small counter in Kamui's kitchen eating breakfast.  
  
Sorata: Kamui, why don't you have a table?  
  
Kamui: I can't afford one. I have no parents, remember?  
  
Yuzuriha: Why don't you get a job?  
  
Kamui: It's the end of the world; I don't think I'll need one.  
  
Sorata: You sound confident.  
  
Arashi: It's the same thing I said.  
  
Yuzuriha: Why don't you sue your dad? He has to pay for child support.  
  
Kamui: I'd like to sue him!!! Oh please glorious day come!  
  
Sorata: Touchy subject?  
  
Kamui: Oh please! Glorious day, when I find my father and sue him!  
  
Arashi: I guess so.  
  
Subaru: Isn't this fic about me, and not everyone rambling and Kamui going insane?  
  
Ishi: (thinking) Oh, yeah! Sorry all, got off track, it happens.  
  
Anyway...  
  
Subaru had managed to hide his slight erection (what am I talking about, the kid was about to burst! Ha, ha). He snuck away to the bathroom when everyone was starting to fall asleep and therefore, wouldn't care if he was going to finish jacking off or what. But what really disturbed him the most was the fact that he couldn't get Seishiro out of his mind the whole time, and that made things worse, ya feeling me, ya picking up what I'm putting down? Well, of course he was obsessed with him, but usually not as much as normal when the other seals were around him. They really looked up to him (if only he could see that) Not that they were obsessed with Seishiro or anything, mind you.  
  
Subaru: Uh, I just realized something.  
  
Kamui: What?  
  
Subaru: Where did my pants go?  
  
Sorata: (looks down at Subaru) Dude, you're right, you aren't wearing pants.  
  
Yuzuriha: Wow, I though they were just colorful shorts that you decided to wear today.  
  
Arashi:........  
  
Subaru: Uh, guys, I don't really feel comfortable with everyone staring at me and all...  
  
Of course everyone was ignoring him.  
  
Kamui: Wow Subaru, your legs are really pale.  
  
Sorata: Well duh! If you haven't noticed, he, like, never wears shorts, or short sleeve shirts for that matter.  
  
Yuzuriha: (looking through various volumes of the X/1999 manga) You're right! He's always wearing long pants, a long sleeved jacket that's usually like a trench coat thing, and most of the time he wears gloves.  
  
Sorata: Are you some kind of vampire or something?  
  
Arashi: (SPOILIER ALERT: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU READ TSUBASA, OR YOU COULD READ IT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO) By the way, that wasn't me screaming, spoiler alert. But what I was going to say, is that he might be a vampire in Tsubasa.  
  
Sorata: Hey, yeah! Your right, Arashi! Oh, and aren't we married too? Ha, ha, ha, ha!!! I'm one lucky man!  
  
Arashi: Don't talk to me.  
  
(YOU CAN KEEP READING NOW)  
  
Subaru:.....Right.....  
  
Kamui: I'll help you find your pants!  
  
After a short period of time, not only did Subaru discover that the pants he was planning on wearing that day were missing but also, his pajama pants, and the ones he wore the previous day were gone too.  
  
Sorata: All right, who stole his pants?  
  
Everyone: Not us.  
  
Sorata: Why are you all staring at me? Why would I take his pants? A practical joke maybe but...  
  
Subaru: Sorata!  
  
Sorata: Hey, it really wasn't me. Honest! I only though of the practical joke thing just now!  
  
Arashi: Pants don't randomly disappear, someone must have taken them.  
  
Kamui: I wonder who would steal his pants? And why?  
  
Yuzuriha: Who knows? But, Subaru, are you going to walk around like that all day if we can't find them?  
  
Subaru was wearing a black shirt, with his long white jacket, and pretty...  
  
Subaru: Don't tell them what color they are!  
  
Yellowandgreenboxers! Ah! Don't kill me!!!!  
  
Sdj;klasjdgo;ijawefoijweifuhwdkfihweiogweroifjijrioghpwHELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !  
  
Anyway.... Just picture it, it looks funny! Subaru, with his long jacket on, and boxers! No pants!  
  
..........  
  
Subaru: Who would take my pants anyway?  
  
Meanwhile, from the window, that just so happened to be conveniently open so the public could hear, who else but Seishiro, yellow, glass eye, and all, was sitting out on the balcony. Listening to the little seals (and that sounds funny no matter how you look at it) bickering about the missing pants, when he heard Kamui say, "I wonder who would steal his pants? And why?". At this, Seishiro smiled, as he looked down at the stack of pants that he had draped over his arms. Ah, Subaru's precious pants. Seishiro stroked them, thinking of how they were once on him, touching him, all wrapped around his waist like.  
  
Seishiro: It's enough to send shivers down my spine! Well, I must go, and hang these on my wall! Ha, ha! They shall never be washed!  
  
He happily hopped away. Can you say 'obsessed'?  
  
Well, that was weird. Did anyone expect that one coming? You're lucky, I didn't know what to put in this chapter, so it started out as every one blabbing on and about pointless things. But, an idea quickly popped into my head, why not torture Subaru? Except my way of torture is very, very different from CLAMP's way of torturing Subaru. Think about it, they abused him so much in X. Even in Tokyo Babylon now that I think about it! I'd have to say, that out of all the characters in the manga that I've read by CLAMP (which is Chobits, Wish, X/1999, Tokyo Babylon, xxx Holic, Tsubasa, Miyuki-chan in Wonderland, and I use to watch Cardcaptor Sakura) I think Subaru is the most abused one of them all. Ranking very closely behind him is Miyuki (from Miyuki-chan in Wonderland), and all of the other characters in X of course (especially Kamui). I don't know, tell me what you think.  
  
Kotori: If you see my big brother and Kamui, please tell them something. Tell them, that I love them both. And also, that the future has not been determined yet...  
  
The future, has not been determined yet. 


	5. Part five

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part five of ten 

I hope you've all been enjoying my little quotes at the end of each chapter. For some reason, I felt like putting them in. I didn't watch the anime when I wrote them. I actually memorized almost the entire episode 0 of X. Especially the part with Nataku, and Fuma talking, I can get it right down to the pauses! I even make my voice change when I say it, to make it sound more real. Nataku's voice is easy. Ok, onto the actual story now! I'm not one for ranting.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything in here!

10:55 p.m. In Hinoto's dream place.

Kanoe: I'm ba-ak!

Hinoto: How did you know I was going to send Subaru another dream?

Kanoe: I'm special.

Hinoto: (smells alcohol) Oh no, are you drunk again? You and those dragons of earth had another party without inviting us as usual didn't you? Hmm...that might work in the scheme of things.

Kanoe: Huh?

Hinoto: Just watch you lush you.

..........

10:56 p.m. Kamui's house

Subaru: (who had gotten a new pair of pants) So, I heard that the dragons of earth were having another party.

Kamui: How did you know?

Subaru: A little owl told me. Get out of here dumb owl! Shoo!

The owl (aka Seishiro's spirit owl) flew off cawing at Subaru.

Subaru: Thank God. That thing was bothering me.

Kamui:.....

Subaru: By the way, what are we doing again?

Kamui: Eating cheap microwaveable dinners.

Subaru: Yes but why?

Kamui: Because I'm cheap.

Subaru: Besides that, why aren't we trying to stop the dragons of earth from, like, destroying the world?

Kamui: Well, they aren't doing it now are they?

Subaru: Well no.

Kamui: So, let's be happy.

Subaru: That's hard, man.

Kamui: Yeah, I know.

Subaru: Why are Sorata, Arashi, and Yuzuriha outside catching lightning bugs?

(Briefly goes to Sora, Arashi, and Yuzuriha outside)

Yuzuriha: Wee! This is fun! Oh, there's another one! Catch it, catch it!

Sorata: Ha! Got him!

Arashi: Their asses light up!

Yuzuriha: Yeah, that's why they're cool!

Sorata: I wish my ass would light up like that!

Arashi:..... I don't.

Subaru and Kamui: (sigh)

(Briefly flashes to Hinoto and Kanoe)

Hinoto: Go to sleep already!

(Back to Kamui and Subaru)

Subaru: I'm tired, let's go to sleep.

Kamui: Ok.

They cleaned up the kitchen and went to change into their pajamas. After that, they took their usual places, Kamui on the chair, and Subaru in the middle futon. They had thought it best not to bother the other three seals, seeing as how they were having so much fun outside.

After a few minutes of staring up at the wall, Subaru began to fall asleep......

..........

Subaru: What the hell!

Subaru's eyes become used to the darkness of....a bar! He sat at a bar table, lights flashing all over the place and then going out.

Subaru: (taps the guy next to him) Hey, where am I?

Yuto: Hello! You, my friend, are at the best bar in town to get laid at!

Subaru: (sarcastically) Oh great!

Yuto: Isn't it? Oh, the strippers are about to come out.

Subaru:....

Just then, three strippers pop in out of nowhere and climb up on top of the bar tables. Among them, Karen (understandable)...Yuzuriha (What?)...and Kusanagi (...)

Subaru: Oh God, no!!! AAHHH!!!

He runs outside of the bar. But, he would soon figure out that it's the back of the bar.

Subaru: I don't care where I am, just as long as I don't have to see Kusanagi strip.

He then hears moaning in the shadows.

Subaru: Oh no.

He then sees a very interesting thing. Fuma sitting on a small trash bin, and Kamui sitting in his lap, facing him, with his legs on either side (straddling) the bigger man. They kiss each other passionately with their arms wrapped around one another...

Subaru: I wouldn't call that 'passionate'.

You're right, I wouldn't either, considering Kamui's whimpering, as Fuma is viciously biting Kamui's tongue, teeth, mouth, chin, ooh, is that blood seeping out of Kamui's mouth? Well, they do have their arms around one another at least.

Subaru: Should I stop them, I mean, it looks rather painful.

Well, it really depends if Kamui is liking it.

Fuma runs his mouth down Kamui's neck.

Kamui: Oh yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Fuma: Ha, ha! Who's your twin star? Who's your twin star?

Kamui: You! You! YOU!

(Goes to Kanoe and Hinoto)

Kanoe: Look sis, our boy toys- uh I mean, 'Kamui's' are playing together.

Hinoto: It looks like they're having fun.

(Had to put that in there, anyway)

This is so fun. So, Subaru, does that answer your question? Subaru?

Subaru: (dazed) Who knew watching them would make me so hot.

Oh, well, I guess he's ready! Bring on the Sei-chan!

Subaru: (gets out of daze) WHAT?!

Seishiro enters the dream, making Kamui and Fuma, and the rest of their surroundings disappear suddenly, replaced by a park, with a big cherry blossom tree, with pink petals. You guessed it! Tree-san!

Subaru: No, this has turned into a nightmare!

Seishiro: Hee, hee, hee.

Subaru: No, I won't let you kill me!

Seishiro: Lick you?

Subaru: Kill me!

Seishiro: Now why would I want to kill you? No, I... (starts rapping)... I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes, I wanna...

Subaru: Oh don't rap! Please don't rap!

Seishiro: Fine. Those will have to go by the way.

Points down to Subaru's pants.

Subaru: W-what!?

Seishiro: You heard me boy, get em off!

Subaru: No!

Seishiro: Have it your way!

Then, the pants magically disappear; it is a dream after all.

Subaru: My pants! They're gone!

Seishiro: True dat Subaru! True dat!

Subaru: Why are you talking weird?

Seishiro: What cho' mean boy?

Subaru: Could it be the weirdness that is, Seishiro drunk and acting like a rap dude???

Seishiro glomps him just like in the other dream.

Subaru: Oh no!

Seishiro starts licking the side of Subaru's neck.

Subaru: Scratch that thought. Oh yes!

(Back in reality)

Sorata, Yuzuriha and Arashi walked into Kamui's small apartment after catching a satisfying, thirty-five lightning bugs! Kudos for them.

But, upon coming into the house, they were greeted with screaming coming from the other room.

Subaru: (from his futon) Seishirou! Oh yeah Seishiro!

Kamui: (from his chair) Fuma! Oh yeah Fuma!

Sorata and Yuzuriha: AAAHHHH!!!! They're attacking again!

They ran into the room before Arashi could stop them, and jumped on Kamui and Subaru, in search of Seishiro and Fuma.

Arashi: Guys! Oh, what's the use? Some things never change...

End of part 5...

That was interesting. I'm totally frozen. I've been typing since Part three with no breaks, or stopping, well, except to restart the NightWalker theme songs. Ya know, I never get bored of it. I've been in my basement the whole time! It's like, 60 degrees in here! I can't feel my feet, or my nose! Oh, well, I'm going to bed now, it's 12:40 a.m. By the way, don't ask why I keep on putting the time at the beginning of the chapters. Just felt like doing it. Oyasuminasai!

Let's not forget the happy quotes!

Fuma: Nataku, what is it you wish for?

Nataku: I don't know, but I feel I don't want to be apart from you.

Fuma: Why?

Nataku: Because, you look like my father.

Fuma: So do you remember what your father used to call you?

Nataku: Kazuki.

Weeeeeeeeee! I had the whole conversation this time! Please keep on reading and reviewing!


	6. Part six

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part six of ten 

It's me again! I'm currently waiting anxiously for X/1999 volumes 14, and 15 to arrive in the mail! I've checked all the local bookstores and whenever I go there, they either don't carry it, or someone beat me to it! Well, not anymore! It should be here really soon! I'm exited, I can't wait to see Fuma and Seishiro eat ice-cream together and Fuma play with a little girl and her toy frog out in some park!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these lovely people. But that doesn't mean I don't love them! (glomps Kamui) Fuma: hey, hey, hey. Hands off the merchandise. Me: Woops, sorry! (gets off, and straightens clothes) Sumimasen!

A few days later... 10:30 a.m. Kamui's house.

Subaru: Why am I still here?

Kamui: I'm lonely.

Sorata: I bet you're just scared that the other Kamui will come.

Kamui: It's Fuma! And I'm not scared of him.

Arashi: It's ok to admit fear towards someone. I'm afraid of Sorata.

Sorata: What's that supposed to mean?

Arashi: That you're disturbing.

Kamui: I'm not afraid of Fuma.

Sorata: Of course not! I get it now! You're just playing hard to get! Ehhh! I'm right aren't I?

Kamui:...

Sorata: (looks over at Subaru) I happen to have some very reliable resources tell me that you just so happened to take a stroll to City Hall the other day.

Subaru: (mumbling) Not that I watched you leave the house and go to City Hall or anything.

Sorata: Did you have fun with him?

Kamui:... Ok, I admit it, I am afraid of him! But that doesn't mean that I don't want him in my... You didn't hear that!!!

Subaru: Well, you have my full blessing I guess. Just as long as he isn't some crazy killer who buries people under his tree, and wishes only for your torture because it turns him on.

Kamui: Well, he doesn't bury people under his tree at least...

Sorata: What are you getting at Subaru-kun? Is there something you're hiding from us too?

Subaru: Uh, no.

Sorata: (getting in Subaru's face) I get it! It's Sakurazukamori; you're obsession with him has become so great, that it turns you on! Well Subaru, does it? Does it make you nice and hard? Does it make you stand up tall? Think... Seishiro running his hands along the belt strap of your pants... pushing you down onto the floor...

Subaru: ... Gotta go!

Our poor, tortured Subaru-kun ran off to the bathroom. Leaving Kamui, Arashi, and Sorata.

Sorata: Man, I was right! Damn I'm good!

Arashi: And you didn't get far enough to tell him about Sakurazukamori actually taking the pants off.

Sorata: I guess even the little things about Sakurazukamori even turn him on.

Kamui: (to himself) Thank God. At least Sorata didn't pull that stuff with me.

Just then, to relieve some of the tension, who else but Yuzuriha came waltzing through the door, with a new dog. Well, she wasn't exactly waltzing.

Yuzuriha: Hi guys! Look at what the other Kamui gave me! (holds up dog) A new puppy!

Kamui: Fuma gave you a puppy?

Yuzuriha: Isn't he nice! It's because one of the dragons of earth killed my Inuki.

Kamui: He never gave me anything.

Sorata: He gives you pleasure.

Kamui:... (Mumbling) And love, and lust, but that's not the point. It's very painful.

Yuzuriha: Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Upon giving me the puppy, Fuma also told me to tell Subaru that Seishiro told him to tell me to tell Subaru...

Subaru: (slightly opening the door, and sticking his head out) Seishiro!?

Yuzuriha: Oh, there you are! Fuma told me to tell you that Seishiro told him to tell me to tell you... Whew! That's a lot of telling! Anyway, Seishiro wants to battle it out once and for all at Rainbow Bridge!

Everyone:..........

Yuzuriha:.......... And I got a new puppy!

Puppy: Bark!

End of part six...

Uh oh! It seems as though this story is quickly coming to an end! What will happen at Rainbow Bridge you ask? When will the plot unfold, if it hasn't already! Read as Hinoto goes nuts, and what's with the new and improved version of Go Fish?

Wow, I never really did a preview for the next chapter before. That was fun! Here are even more happy quotes. This one's a small part of a conversation that Satsuki has about why it's not wrong to kill people:

Satsuki: An idealistic answer, a biological answer. There are many things that can serve as the answer, but they are not complete answers. What do you think Yuto?

Yuto: Well, probably, because there would be people who would be sad.

Quick Ki Note 1: Hi, it's Ki Leigh, the beta/friend! I was just rereading this and I thought, 'Hey, is CLAMP trying to say something by making it Rainbow Bridge? Maybe that they're GAY!! Yeah...'

Quick Ki Note 2: Okay, Ishi would like to thank her reviewers. Her computer doesn't have the internet right now so I, Ki Leigh, am the only one with access to her reviews. I print them off for her but she can't personally thank you because of it. We hope you are all enjoying Subaru, Seishirou, and Pants! See ya'll next chapter and please review!


	7. Part seven

Subaru, Seishiro and Pants: Part seven of ten 

Hello again! I took a short break from writing this fic, but it's here now! Still listening to NightWalker music, but before I was listening to Linkin Park. Love em all!!! Oh and happy news in my life! First, X/1999 vol. 14 came! I'm so happy!!! And also, Gravitation, the first DVD came out a few days ago!!! Yay!!! I saw it!!!!!!!!!!! I watched it! It was happy! No shonen-ai collection is complete without Gravitation. Well, Ki is actually the one who has the anime and manga, but I still get to watch it from her, just like she gets to watch X from me, and read X/1999. We have a great system going. By the way, just so nobody gets confused, I'm writing this on the 5th of July, so, it's a bit earlier than when it gets posted on the internet.

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own anyone from this thing. I'm not really sure why I keep reminding people, I mean, it's not like one day I don't own them and the next day I do. Oh well, just to keep the peace around here, let's begin.

The next day from whatever day it was in the last chapter... 1:34 p.m. Kamui's house

Oh, man, I'm so screwed... Hey, that could mean more than one thing... What the hell am I thinking????

Yuzuriha: Hey Subi-chan! Whatcha thinking?

Subaru: Please don't call me Subi-chan.

Yuzuriha: Ok! Whatcha thinking?

Subaru: Thinking of what I'm going to do about the whole 'Rainbow Bridge thing'.

Yuzuriha: Oohh... Can't help ya there!

Puppy: Bark!

Subaru:.....(Sigh)...(angst, angst, angst, angst, angst)...(Sigh)

Kamui:... Don't be all sad, it-it's making me sad t-too (sniff, sniff)

Arashi: --

Yuzuriha: --

Since we can't have everyone depressed in a humor story, we see Sorata walk in the door all happy like.

Sorata: Hey guys! Guess what? Fuma gave me what I always wanted! A grill of my own!!! Lookie!

He pulled in a big grill into the doorway.

Everyone:...

Sorata: He's one weird character...

(flashback)

Fuma: Hello.

Sorata: Hello.

Fuma:...

Sorata: Y'know dude, you look very familiar. Have we met before? I never forget a pretty face.

Fuma:...

Sorata: Hmmm... I know I've met you before... did we go to the same shrine?

Fuma: I was never really religious.

Sorata: The same school?

Fuma: I stopped going to school.

Sorata: Hmmm... You wouldn't happen to be a crazy sadist who gets kicks out of molesting boys, particularly the dragon of heaven, Kamui, and are currently one of the seven angels, trying to destroy the world by use of earthquakes are you?

Fuma: (very sarcastically) Nooooo. Ya think?

Sorata: I thought not.

Fuma: (laughs) Oh gosh! Is everyone in this fic this dense?! Here take this! (pulls out grill from nowhere) I have a habit of granting people's desires.

Sorata: But...

Fuma: Yes, your true desire is to protect the seals, and get it on with Arashi...but I'm not gonna do that... So, we go to the next thing on your list, getting a grill, so you can cook all the hamburgers you want!

Sorata: TRULY!!??? Wow, Thanks!!!

(end flashback)

Sorata: So, does anybody know how to use a grill???

At this point, everyone fell over anime style by Sorata's 'slight' stupidity.

Meanwhile, at the same time, in Hinoto's dream world...

Kakyo: Alright guys, I want in!

Hinoto: You said you would keep this a secret.

Kanoe: He's a dreamseer too, he finds out everything by himself.

Hinoto: (Sigh) Ok, ok! I will tell you too! Just as long as you promise not to tell any of the angels.

Kakyo: Why?

Hinoto: I want to surprise everyone!

Kanoe: Don't worry about him, he never gossips with them anyways.

Kakyo, at this point began thinking about how wrong she was.

(Briefly goes to one incident. I warn you, Kakyo is **very** out of character)

Kakyo: And also, did you know that Subaru and his now departed sister looked exactly alike! (shows image of Hokuto)

Yuto, Fuma, Satsuki, Nataku, Kusinagi:.......

Seishiro: Yeah, so what if he's a very feminine, pretty boy?

Kakyo: Oh, and wait till I show you the clothes he use to wear, and probably still wears! (materializes a sample outfit from Tokyo Babylon)

Yuto: Oh my...

Fuma: What a pansy...

Satsuki: What's with the gloves?

Kusinagi: Must love Michael Jackson.

Nataku: Who?

Kakyo: Rumor has it, our Sakurazukamori over here put a 'star' symbol on both of his hands, and because of that, young Subaru was forbidden to take off the gloves and expose them to other people, for it would shame the Sumeragi family.

Seishiro: I prefer 'reversed pentagram'. And how do you know all this?

Yuto: He must have been a very disturbed and abused child.

Seishiro: Why do you look at me when you say that? It's not like I wanted in his pants or anything.

Kakyo: Oh bull shit! (Plays a dream that Seishiro once had after he first met Subaru under a cherry blossom tree)

(In the dream)

Seishiro thinking: Such a beautiful kid! Oh, so beautiful, I wonder what it would be like in his pants!

Little Subaru: I don't understand what your saying.

Seishiro: It's just, your pants, they're in the way.

Little Subaru: In the way? How?

Seishiro: I'm afraid I'm going to have to take them off.

Little Subaru: But, I like my pants!

(End dream before it gets weirder)

Kakyo: You see!

Seishiro: It was a one-time thing ok?

Fuma: (puts arm around Sei-chan) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!! You dog!

Satsuki:... I'm going back to beast.

Kusinagi: That's just wrong man.

Yuto: Some things never change right Sei-chan?

Nataku: What does Seishiro mean when he says he wants 'in Subaru's pants'?

Everyone:....................

(End flashback)

Kakyo:...

Hinoto: Well, ok. I guess I can trust you.

Kakyo:...(cough)...

Hinoto explained to Kakyo that there are two possible outcomes of the battle at Rainbow Bridge and that Kanoe, and Hinoto were trying to make things change around a bit.

Kakyo: Oh, so you want the more happier ending?

Hinoto: Yes.

Kakyo: Duh! I knew that! Tell me something I don't know! So, are we going to watch all of this?

Kanoe: It should be fun to watch!

Hinoto: Uh, one problem, we're paralyzed.

Kanoe: Sucks for you guys! Well, being the nice person that I am, I shall go there, and video tape it for you!

Kakyo: This should be '_interesting'_

Kanoe: Eh? I don't like the way you said '_interesting'_.

Hinoto: Well, I didn't exactly tell you '_what'_ is going to happen.

Kanoe: (gets happy look) So, you're saying it's going to be like porn??!!

Hinoto: Well...

Kanoe: Spill it people! I must have been awake when you had this dream! Wait! You two have already seen what could happen! OOOooo!!! Give me the juicy details!

Fuma: (popping into the dream world) Hello! I want to see the juicy details too!

Hinoto: How can you get in here?

Fuma: I'm special!

Hinoto: People, people wait! I don't want to spoil the ending for the readers! You're just going to have to find out all by yourselves.

Kakyo: But we can tell you this, they will play 'Go Fish'. But not the kind you're use to!

Fuma:...(gets idea)...Bye!

(End of part seven...)

Sorry this one was long, and the beginning didn't make any sense with the grill and all. I hoped you found it entertaining enough. So, what do you think Fuma is up to?

You know what time it is..........Happy quotes!!!

**Fuma:** The earth is longing for a revolution, a revolution that human beings cannot interfere with. To do this, we will wipe out all that pollutes the earth.


	8. Part eight

Subaru, Seishiro and Pants: Part eight of ten 

Hello again! It's Ishi, and Ki finally got the FLCL soundtrack! And, she burned it for me, so now I have lot's of music to play! But there's more, I also got the second X soundtrack! And she got it copied! So now, we like, got two CD's for the price of one! It's a great friendship! We also burned the two CD's for our other friends. Yeah, isn't everyone proud!? So now, I can listen to NightWalker, Inuyasha, Linkin Park, X, and FLCL!!! Ok, now on to the real story, sorry for going on and on about my personal life.

My version of what I think should have happened that day on Rainbow Bridge.

Disclaimer: I don't own these lovely people. CLAMP does... Someone save them...

At last, the day which Subaru and Seishiro finally battle it all out once and for all was upon them. And here's what everyone was doing.

(In a local bath house)

Karen: Ok, coming right up with those towels!

(In a bookstore)

Aoki-san: Gotta get that editing job done before next week!

(At CLAMP Academy)

Kamui: Guys! GUYS!!!

Sorata: Yup.

Kamui: Why are we here?

Arashi: Come on, class is about to start.

Yuzuriha: Let's go new puppy!

Puppy: Bark!

Sorata: Have you decided to name it yet?

Yuzuriha: No, not yet a good name hasn't come to mind so...

Kamui: Guys listen! Shouldn't we be helping Subar...

Keiichi: Hey there Kamui! Wanna have lunch together?

Sorata: Hey, it's Kamui's boyfriend!

Arashi:...

Sorata: Ya know, he's his friend, and he's a boy!

Yuzuriha: Does that make you our boyfriend Sora?

Keiichi: Look at the time, c'mon guys class is starting!

Kamui: But...

Arashi: I tried to tell them.

Yuzuriha: Oh, I'm gonna be late!

Kamui: GUYS!!! Why is nobody listening to me?

Sorata: Kamui let's go!

Kamui: But, but...

Sorata: Ya know, I feel as if I've forgotten to do something today...

(At Rainbow Bridge)

Seishiro stood at one end of the street as Subaru stood at the other. Seishiro took out a cigarette and brought it to his mouth, which caused Subaru to pull out a lighter to light it for him. Then Seishiro walked off to the other side, separating them yet again.

Seishiro:...

Subaru: ...

Seishiro: So, how's it been going?

Subaru: Well, same as usual I guess, the others are... hey! We're suppose to be fighting, not having light hearted discussions!

Seishiro: Right...Well then, let's hop to it!

Subaru put up a barrier in the shape of a star or, reversed pentagram as some like to call it. Then, they began to fight using their omnioji powers. Lot's a bang, slam, smack, whack, crack, and boom noises come from within the barrier.

Seishiro: Bang, slam, smack eh? Sounds kinky!

Subaru: Will you concentrate? I can't say I beat you just because you were paying too much attention to how our fight is being described in this fic!

Just then, Kamui, Arashi, Sorata, Yuzuriha and her puppy enter the barrier (don't know how the puppy got in really).

Sorata: I knew I forgot something to do today!

Arashi: Sorry we're late.

Kamui: I finally got it through to them that you were fighting today!

Subaru: I don't want you to be involved in all of this. This is my fight, I don't want anyone interfering.

Sorata: Who says anything about us interfering? Ya think we're crazy?!

Yuzuriha: Yeah, we're just here to be the cheerleaders! (Pulls out big sign that says 'Go Subaru' and a number one glove) Go Subaru! You're number one! You're number one!

Seishiro: Isn't that sweet?

Subaru: ...uh...

Kamui: (Gets all emotional) I-I wish this didn't have to end up this way for you Subaru.

Just then, Fuma came in from the sky as soon as someone said 'I wish'.

Fuma: Did someone wish for something??? Don't lie to me now, I heard it!

Kamui: AAAHHHH!!! Hide me. (hides behind Arashi)

Arashi: What the...?

Subaru: Why is everyone interrupting my battle? I mean, isn't this suppose to be X's tragic gay love scene?

Fuma: Today is your lucky day Kamui! For I have the solution to this battle! (Holds up deck of cards) Go Fish!!!

Everyone fell over anime style, even Seishiro and Subaru. But, as soon as they recovered from it, they turned to see a car heading right for them. In a state of confusion as to why there was a car in the barrier in the first place, they all just stood there with a 'duuhhh?' look on their faces. The car skidded to a halt, and out came Kanoe.

Kanoe: Did I miss the action?

Subaru: Hey, if I wanted this to be a spectator's sport, then I wouldn't have come alone, and put up the barrier!

Kamui: Does that mean you wanted to be alone with the Sakurazukamori?

Sorata: Oh, weird images coming to mind...

Subaru: You make it sound nasty! Can't we just get on with our fight?

Fuma: I told you, there's going to be no fighting today! We're all playing Go Fish! And not just any old maid, but STRIP GO FISH!!!

Everyone fell over anime style yet again.

Fuma: Ok, here's how it works, it's like the normal Go Fish, except for when someone asks for a card, and the person that they ask doesn't have it, and says 'Go fish' then the person who didn't receive the card they were looking for, must not only pick a card from the pile, but also, remove one piece of clothing from the person that they asked.

So, with some frustration, and a lot of persuading on Fuma's part, the seven people that were there (not including Kanoe who was named the judge, for the sake of everyone who would have to have taken what little clothing she had on) began to play the game of strip Go fish. The deck was also stacked with some unusual cards as they soon figured out. There were four pairs of all of the seven seals, and the seven angels, and also Kanoe, Hinoto, Keiichi, Saiki, Kotori, Hokuto, and Hinoto's assistance.

Fuma: Ok, I'll start. Sorata! Do you have any Hinoto?

Sorata: Yes, and Thank God I do! (Gives Hinoto card to Fuma) Ok, now, Arashi, do you have any Arashi!

Arashi: ...(sounding scared) no...uh, go fish...

Sorata: Ok (takes a card from the pile) OOH! Cool, I got the Arashi pair!

Then, he noticed that everyone was staring at him.

Sorata: Oh, right, don't worry, I'll be nice and take only you're shoe.

Arashi: (breathes a sigh of relief) Ok, my turn, Subaru, do you have any Keiichi?

Subaru: Uh, no... go fish

Arashi: (After taking a card) Ok, I'll take your glove.

Subaru: Why?

Arashi: To keep this fic as sane as I can.

Subaru: (sigh) Ok.

He took off one of his gloves, to reveal a scar in the shape of a star which was now glowing.

Kamui: What's with the...?

Subaru: It's a long story, involving HIM!

He glared over to Seishiro who just smiled back at him innocently.

Subaru: I hate to ask, but, Seishiro, do you have any Kusinagi?

Seishiro: Hmm...(Looks at hand which contains a Fuma, Nataku, Karen, and Yuzuriha) Nope, can't say that I do, Go Fish!

Subaru: (after taking a card) I'll take, the tie I guess.

Seishiro: You'll have to take it off of me yourself!

Subaru: Grrr...You seem to be having fun (takes Seishiro's tie off and sets it next to him along with his pile of paired cards).

Seishiro: My turn! Fuma, any Kotori?

Fuma: Why no, it appears not!

Seishiro: Oh goo...I mean, too bad, I'll just take my card from the pile and then, your shirt!

He took off Fuma's shirt, while Subaru, and Kamui watched, blushing lightly.

Fuma: Ok, my, it's a bit chilly out here, uke, any Kakyo?

Everyone turned to Kamui.

Kamui: Don't call me that in public! No I don't...(suddenly realizes what that meant)...uh...

Fuma: (sarcastically) Oh no. (Picks up card, then goes over to Kamui) I'll be nice and just take your school tie for now.

As he was taking off Kamui's tie, he ran his tongue along the side of Kamui's neck, which made the small uke blush even more.

Kamui: (sigh of relief) Ok, Yuzuriha, any Sorata?

Yuzuriha: You betcha! Golly, this is a fun game!

Puppy: Bark!

Yuzuriha: (After giving Kamui the card) Ok, Subaru, any Kanoe?

Subaru: Ahh! No. Go fish...

Yuzuriha: Ok, then I'll just take the other glove I guess.

Subaru: Fine, expose my cursed marks (glares evily at Seishiro who smiles back yet again). Sorata, any Yuto?

Sorata: Yup! Wehoo! I'm still clothed!

Arashi: Which reminds me, how do you win anyway?

Fuma: Well, you play as if it were a normal game, which whoever gets rid of all of the cards in their hand goes out, while the rest continue to see who is the last one. However, in the end, whoever is the most clothed wins over the one who is most de-clothed, then, it becomes a dare kind of thing, for the looser has to do ANYTHNIG the winner wants them to.

Sorata: Cool, well it's still my turn, and this one's for the Sakurazukamori! Got any Subaru?

Seishiro: Of course, I always have Subaru (looks over at Subaru, who is now trying to avoid eye contact).

Sora: Thanks.

Seishiro: Well, now Subaru-kun, I must ask you, do you have any Kamui?

Subaru: Does this count? (shows card of Fuma)

Seishiro: I'm afraid not Subaru-kun.

Subaru: Damn, but he's the Dark Kamui, that's gotta mean something!

Seishiro: I'll be taking your pants now!

Subaru: I mean, they kind of are the same, and...WHAT???!!!

Seishiro: I want your pants!

Subaru: Wait! Hold on!

Seishiro: Get ready!

He then went over to Subaru, and began to unzip the pants, as Subaru struggled to defend himself.

Seishiro: Now, now, don't struggle, this is a game after all! Can someone help me out?

Sora, Arashi, Yuzuriha, Kanoe: ...

Kamui:...Fuma!

Fuma had gone over and held down Subaru's hands over his head so he couldn't get in the way, as Seishiro slid of the young omnioji's pants.

Sora, Arashi, Yuzuriha, Kanoe: OO

Kamui: Oh my...

Seishiro: Now that wasn't that difficult was it?

Subaru: When this game is over, you're dead!

Fuma: Ok, continuing! Subaru, I believe you are next!

To be continued...

That was interesting. The game was originally going to be Old Maid, but ya know, things change, and besides, I wasn't sure of how they were going to play 'Strip old maid' which sounds kinda weird no matter how you put it. Continue reading to see who the winner is!!!

Happy Quotes!!!

Kusinagi: That's a good dog, a bit strange maybe, but still a good dog. Huh? Something wrong little lady, did I say something wrong?

Yuzuriha: (Runs to Kusinagi) This is the first time I've ever met anyone who could see Inuki!


	9. Part nine

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part nine of ten 

Ishi is back! I feel so sad, my manga shelf (the shelf which I store my manga on) has gotten really small, why you ask, it's because I've lent half of them to a friend of mine. She hasn't read past vol. 5 of X/1999, she hasn't even started on Chobits or Rurouni Kenshin, and she needs to read the latest volume of Tokyo Babylon, The Ring, Dragon Knights, and Tsubasa.

We counted and she took home with her, well, lets just say, over 20 volumes of manga with her when she left my house! And that's only of the things that she needs from me! There's a lot more that she needs to read from Ki I think (Like, all of Petshop of Horrors, Wish, xxxHolic, and a whole bunch of other things)!

Disclaimer: I don't own X, but just think of how happy everything would be if I did! But alas, Subaru, is and will always be, tortured forever!

The battle of Go Fish raged on.

Sitting in the middle of the street on Rainbow Bridge, Subaru's spirit shield still surrounding the area, the two dragons of earth, along with the four dragons of heaven, accompanied by Kanoe, continued to play the long game, anxiously waiting for it to be finished, not only to see who the winner was, but to get it all over with and go home. All except for Kanoe of course, who was sitting in her car with the radio on and eating a snickers bar…

Yuzuriha: Ha, ha! I'm out of the game!

Yuzuriha held out her hands to show that she was no longer holding any of the cards. However, she was missing both her shoes and sox, and a barrette that was previously in her hair. This meant, that she hadn't won yet, for Seishiro was still in the lead, only missing his tie.

Arashi: Lucky…

Sorata: Well Arashi, you're the only girl left in the group. Now don't anybody go stripping her down, don't forget, she's MINE!

Arashi was also missing her shoes and sox. She had also lost her bracelet (yes, she wore a bracelet) and the bow on her school uniform. While Sorata, was missing his hat, jacket, shirt, and shoes.

Kamui: It's my turn, Subaru do you have any Saiki?

Subaru: Dammit! Why?

Kamui: I take that as a no, so I guess I'll just take your other sox now… For the sake of sanity…

Kamui glared over to Seishiro, and Fuma who gave him puppy dog eyes in return.

Fuma: What about the sake of perverts?

Seishiro: I guess I can deal with that, I'm just glad I got him out of them pants. (picks up the pants that Subaru had been previously wearing, to stroke them happily)

Kamui then took off Subaru's sock and set it next to his pile of clothes that he'd gathered from the other players. Kamui himself, was, just in his pants, which was more than poor Subaru, who was left with only his boxers.

Subaru: Fine, my turn, Seishiro, any Satsuki?

Seishiro: Here you go Subaru-kun.

Subaru: What the hell? At this rate, you're going to beat us all!

Fuma: (mumbling so that only the people next to him, which were Kamui, and Sorata, could hear) and it looks like you are loosing. Hmm, interesting…

Sorata, Kamui: OO

Seishiro: Alright then, Sorata, any Hokuto?

Sora: Yes, here ya go! My turn, well, let's see, with my brilliant expertise, and great concept of following the game, I believe it's Subaru who I have to ask for a Fuma.

Subaru: Yes! Sora I could kiss…never mind, thank you! (Gives Fuma card to Sora)

Sora: And I am out of the game!

Arashi:…I could kill Ishi…

Subaru: Ok, Arashi, I get dibs on killing her, anyway, do you have any Yuzu?

Arashi:…(goes pale)…

Subaru: Please say that you do…

Arashi:…

Seishiro: Her silence says otherwise.

Sora and Yuzuriha went over to their fellow seal to look at her cards, which contained only a Seishiro.

Sorata: Don't you come any closer you fox you!

Subaru: Oh no, now I'm portrayed as the perv!

Fuma: You can't escape it Subaru. What'll it be? Remember you have to take it yourself.

Seishiro: I don't think he can. He's never stripped a girl. Now Kamui maybe but…

Kamui: WHAT!

Fuma: That is where I draw the line at sick jokes (Grabs Kamui and holds him tightly) MINE! (Sticks tongue out at Subaru)

Subaru: This is driving me crazy? Why am I the one who's the most abused?

Arashi: Excuse me!

Seishiro: I still say he can't. He's never touched a woman.

Kanoe: (Sticks head out of car window) so does that mean he's still a virgin?

Seishiro: Well, there was that one time when we went behind the desk at my veterinarian office and…

Subaru: That was a one time thing!

Seishiro: Ah, so you remember?

Subaru: Hey, that was before you killed my sister! I've changed!

Kanoe: Get back to the game, I wanna see this.

Subaru: NO!

Fuma: Alright already HUSH! There is an alternative.

Arashi: (pulls sward out from her left hand and points it at Fuma) Do tell!

Fuma: If Subaru is willing to forfeit the game, and accepting the fate he is given, then he can throw his cards down and wait for the winner of the game. And Arashi can stay clothed.

Arashi: He's doing it!

Subaru: Ok fine. Wait, what do you mean by 'accepting my fate?' as in, like the fate I have in the game?

Fuma; I don't have to answer any more questions, you already said yes!

Subaru: Grr….Fine, Kamui, you better win and set me free…

Kamui: (who was previously staring at Fuma's chest) …huh…oh, yeah sure!

Subaru: I'm screwed…

Fuma: (still holding Kamui) Shall we continue?

With that, they continued the battle of Strip Go fish, now knowing the prize was Subaru. After a few minutes, Arashi and Fuma were out of the game, Fuma being now shoeless as well. Kamui and Seishiro were the only ones left to battle it out and things weren't looking good. Kamui had been stripped down to his boxers, and Seishiro, who had somehow lost his shoes. Both players held one card each, with the pool to pick from, being still full. So, unless somehow, miraculously Kamui made an extremely great come back, Subaru was indeed, screwed.

Seishiro: Any Karen?

Kamui: Dang…

And guess who won?

Subaru: Aw crap!

Arashi: Notice that the two uke are both in boxers, blue ones at that.

Sora: What a coincidence! Oh by the way, Kamui didn't have the card, doesn't that mean…?

Kamui: Help me!

Kamui began to back away from the Sakurazukamori, but was stopped backing into Fuma.

Fuma: (holding Kamui defensively again) Ok, you win, go take your prize. (points over to Subaru looking abused as usual)

Seishiro: But the game isn't finished.

Fuma: Yes it is.

Seishiro: But…

Fuma: Oh fine! (takes off Kamui's boxers and throws them to Seishiro, thus, exposing Kamui's manhood to everyone)

With that, Fuma picked up a very confused and disturbed Kamui and flew off somewhere in the distance. Within the barrier field of course, since they really couldn't leave. But Subaru, being the nice guy that he is, took it down. Ok, so maybe it was just because he wanted to spare the innocence from seeing such distubities, but still.

Yuzuriha; The Kamuis forgot their clothes!

Sora: I don't think they'll be needing them…

Arashi: (Hits Sora)…

Seishiro: I get it, this was all just a scam to shag Kamui! What a genius! Anyway, I got my prize! (Looks happily at Subaru)

Subaru: Damn…

Arashi: Uh, Subaru, I think it's best you put your pants on now.

Subaru looked around, forgetting that he'd taken the spirit shield down, hence bringing them back to the dimension in which people could see them quite clearly. Subaru just turned away at the few people on the Rainbow Bridge who'd stopped their cars to roll down the windows and whistle at him.

Uh oh, Seishiro gets Subaru for a day! What sick things will they do? And will Subaru be further abused? Why of course he will! Just be happy I didn't decide to tar and feather him, substituting the tar for caramel.


	10. Part 10

Subaru, Seishiro, and Pants: Part ten of ten 

It seems so sad to see this fic coming to an end. I could've kept it going, but there are bigger things to accomplish, plus, I like where I ended it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here.

Subaru opened his eyes to the sunlight beaming in through his window. He really needed to get some blinds. Realizing that it was the day after he'd lost to Strip Go Fish, he grunted and rolled over in his bed. He personally didn't want to wake up in the morning, for as soon as he did, he had a 'date' with Seishiro, since he was the winner of the damn game.

He was preparing himself to go back sleep. However, he felt his bed shift from the other side, as if someone was rolling over next to him, then this was accompanied by the warmth from another person's body heat.

Seishiro: (popping out from under the covers) Hello Subaru-kun!

Subaru: Aaaahhhhhh!

Seishiro: Thought I'd surprise you! Remember, you're mine for a whole day.

While Seishiro said this, Subaru had quickly pulled the blankets tighter around him, trying to hide his skin from the crazy assassin accompanying him in his bed.

Seishiro: Forget hiding yourself Subaru-kun, I've already seen everything (looks down, below Subaru's waist). Here's some good advice for ya, don't sleep naked when I'm around. Or you could if you want to, I don't have a problem…

Subaru: Ok, ok! Now could you get out of here so I can get ready?

Seishiro: Nah, I think I'll just watch you.

Subaru: But…

Seishiro: Remember, you do whatever I say, it doesn't matter what you want.

Subaru: Grrr…

He wrapped the blanket around himself before standing up and walking over to his bathroom. However, as he was walking, he felt the sheets pull back, quick enough that it took him off guard, hence, Subaru couldn't grab them in time to hold them up. He turned his head over to Seishiro who was holding the sheets and smirking at him.

Subaru: (walking away naked) Grrr…

He didn't bother to pick them up or cover himself, since he was already exposed. Besides, it was nothing Seishiro hadn't seen before. The thought turned his cheeks (the ones on his face. Tee, hee) a slight pink.

After he got some clothes from his closet, he went into the bathroom to take a shower. He was dreading this day so very much. The night before he had stayed up late thinking about what Seishiro would do to him. Poor Subaru-kun, he doesn't know what he's really in for.

While he was in the shower, Subaru squeezed some of the shampoo out onto his hands. He then rubbed the gooey substance through his hair, scratching his scalp with his fingernails. Soon he smelt the fragrance of sweet citrus, which, surprisingly, calmed him a little bit. For a brief moment, he forgot all of the things that he'd soon be facing, what with the one eyed assassin in his room.

However, as soon as he was done taking his shower, and walked out of the bathroom, with only his pants on and a towel around his neck, all of his thoughts shot back to reality, and how much it sucked, when he saw Seishiro still sitting on his bed.

Seishiro: My Subaru-kun, you're fast. It must be because you're so exited to spend the whole day with me!

Subaru: Not really.

Seishiro: Oh, before I forget. (Reached for a bag on the edge of the bed that Subaru hadn't noticed was there) I bought you a present!

He pulled out a small box inside the bag that also had in it a blanket and umbrella.

Subaru: (sarcastically) Oh goodie.

Seishiro: I knew you'd be thrilled. But, you can't open it until we go to our destination! (Can ya tell he's loving this?)

Subaru: (a bit concerned) Where?

Seishiro: (Standing up, draping one arm over Subaru's shoulders, while the other one which was holding Subaru's present, pointed westward) You and I will be going to the beach! Ah I can see it now! The two of us together, splashing each other with the cool water, making sand castles in the sand. Eating hotdogs on a blanket, under an umbrella. Did I mention the umbrella was red w/ a cherry blossom design? And later, sipping margaritas as we stroll the coastline watching the sun set.

Subaru: (rubbing his temples) Oh, shit…

Later, after they got to the beach…

Seishiro: Ok, first things first. Let's get our bathing suits on!

Subaru: Why?

Seishiro: It's a beach Subaru-kun, we don't want to stick out like a sore thumb!

Subaru: Ha! I didn't bring a bathing suit.

Seishiro: That's ok.

By that time, he'd led them into the men's locker room. Seeing it was empty, Seishiro took advantage of the situation. He locked the door so that nobody could enter. Subaru became very suspicious of this, and tensed up. He knew he had to prepare himself for anything at this point.

Seishiro: Ok, I think it's time for me to give you your present (pulls out the small box)

Subaru: But why did you lock the doors?

Seishiro: So nobody would disturb us as we change.

Subaru: I told you I didn't bring a…

Seishiro: I thought you wouldn't, so I took it upon myself to get you this!

Subaru opened the box reluctantly when Seishiro gave it to him. Inside, there was a nicely folded ret Speedo bathing suit. It looked rather small. Seeing this, Subaru's face changed from mad, to a look of sheer horror.

Seishiro: I hope it fits!

Subaru: No! I refuse!

Seishiro: You refuse to put it on?

Subaru: Yes!

Seishiro: Ok, then I guess I'll have to do it for you!

Subaru: OO

Seishiro: Ok, get ready!

Seishiro began to take off Subaru's shirt. However, Subaru backed away defensively.

Subaru: What the hell are you doing?

Seishiro: I thought it'd be fun to dress you. It'll be like playing with a big doll.

Subaru: NO! That's where I draw the line.

Seishiro: But Subaru-kun, I won the game, so you have to do whatever I say.

Subaru: NO!

Seishiro: But if you don't you'll have to pay a price.

Subaru: Anything's better than you undressing me and making me wear THAT! (Points to Speedo)

Seishiro: Then you'll have to hope to die.

Subaru: Good.

Seishiro: Stick a needle in your eye.

Subaru: I'll stick it in my glass one.

Seishiro:…Be fed one hundred nails.

Subaru:….(nervous gulp)

Seishiro: While sitting naked on Yuto's lap!

Subaru:…Fine, undress me and do as you please!

Seishiro: I knew you'd see it my way

Seishiro then cracked his knuckles before removing Subaru's shirt. Once that was gone, he moved to the shoes and socks. Following after, he removed Subaru's pants and underwear, slowly sliding them down his hips. Subaru tensed up even more than before. This felt as if they were about to have sex for crying out loud. Even though he'd only thought about that prospect for but a second, he felt himself start to stiffen up, and he suddenly felt eager to get that damn bathing suit on him. But, Seishiro, who was enjoying this more than necessary, was taking his jolly time. Subaru quickly felt his face flush up.

Seishiro: (Once he was done putting on Subaru's new speedo, and his own bathing suit, which were a pair of red trunks. Ooh, they match!) Well, wasn't that _exiting_ Subaru-kun?

Subaru didn't answer, knowing what Seishiro's statement was intended to mean. Even though the erection was very slight, he didn't know if Seishiro noticed it.

Seishiro: Shall we? (He pointed to the door to the outside)

Subaru: (Crossing his arms) Whatever.

So, they began their day of splashing in the water, building sand castles, and eating hotdogs on a towel under the cherry blossom umbrella. All of which Subaru was forced to do against his will. The day ended with the two of them (just as Sei-chan had pictured it) walking on the beach sipping margaritas as the sun went down.

……….

Subaru: This is a surefire way of getting skin cancer Seishiro!

Seishiro: It's not my fault that your skin is so sensitive.

Subaru: It itches, and burns!

Seishiro: Look on the bright side! After a person gets sunburn, they usually get a good tan color afterwards. It'll look better than that pale color you had going.

Subaru: UUUhhhhggggg!

He flopped down onto his bed, then winced at the pain that had befallen all over his skin. Seishiro had the whole day planned out perfectly except for one little detail, yes, the sunscreen. So, as a result, Subaru's usually snow white skin, had turned a bright red. Everywhere except for in the nether regions thank God.

Seishiro: Well, there's only one thing to do about this.

He then left the house as quick as he could. Subaru didn't know where he was going, or when he came back. So, Subaru decided it was best to forget about the whole situation, for he wasn't in the mood to be thinking of Seishiro. Instead, he put on some loose pajamas (cuz he's got all sorts) and flopped down onto his bed. The day had been very stressful on him, for not only did he have to tolerate being w/ Seishiro the whole day, but he had to hide several boners that he'd gotten just by looking at the man with him.

Subaru closed his heavy eye lids and began to fall asleep. It was all too good to be true, he was by himself again, in his comfy bed, w/ comfy pjs. However…

Seishiro: (opening the door) I'm ba-ak!

Subaru: (Sitting up) What the hell?

Seishiro: Oh, I hope you don't that mind I took these.

Seishiro held up the keys to get into Subaru's small house.

Subaru: (sarcastically, and very annoyed) Oh sure! Just come in anytime you want and invade my personal space! Why would I feel threatened or abused? The worst thing you could do is kill my sister. Oh wait, you already did! My bad!

Seishiro: I knew you'd understand

Subaru rolled his eyes and lay back down on his stomach, burying his head in his pillow.

Seishiro: (After walking over and laying next to Subaru on his bed) I got you something.

Subaru: (In his pillow) Go away!

Seishiro: Look!

Subaru looked up from his pillow at Seishiro who was holding a tube of some sort of gel. Subaru's eyes quickly widened in shock.

Subaru: Th-that's not what I think it is, is it!

Seishiro: Depends, do you think it's a type of cream that's used for sunburns?

Subaru:…(he doesn't wanna answer that)

Seishiro: Cuz it is.

Subaru: Oh thank God! I thought you'd bought a lu…uh…yeah…

Seishiro: What did you think it was?

Subaru: Nothing!

Seishiro: OOOOHHHHH! I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down. Nasty boy you! What happened to that inoccent mind you once had? Oh well, take off your clothes.

Subaru: (Alarmed) What!

Seishiro: Well how else am I suppose to get this all over you?

Subaru: (Whacks face) Why me? Why?

Hint, he didn't really have to do it ya know. Tee, hee. Some things (like Subi-chan abuse) never end…

Owari!

Well, it's done. Sad. I might make a sequel to it! I just gotta get the right motivation! If so, it'll have a similar title, like 'Subaru, Seishiro, and…' uh, something. Does anybody want a sequel? Tell me now, or forever hold your peace!


End file.
